WAX ON, WAX OFF

A Japanese soldier was arrested for indecent exposure when he tried to buy panties at a store while naked.

The man, on his way home from a late-night farewell party for a colleague in early September, stripped off his clothes behind a convenience store before going in and buying panties and pantyhose. "He had just his wallet and his shoes on him," said the spokeswoman from the Matsushima air base in Miyagi, northern Japan. "He thought it would be funny if he went into the store stark naked, that it would surprise people."

Why should anyone be surprised by anything in a country with game shows where they hook your balls up to car batteries in case you miss a question? I think the real story here is that Japan has a military. When did we let that happen? Last time I checked, Grandpa's ship was getting banzaied by kamikazes back in WWII. These guys shouldn't even be allowed to have an airport.

"Wrong ansah, Joe!"

Why can't there be more Japanese people like Mr. Miyagi? He taught Daniel that 15 year old-looking 40 year old Italian stereotypes can learn to fight back against WASP blonde bullies by waxing cars and painting fences.

"Ok, now blindly run into my foot with your face."