Dear Diary,Me and Samantha are so pissed about Prop 8 failing in California. Wait...did it pass or fail? Well, either way Samantha says we're totally cheesed off about it. Ever since I realized halfway through our relationship that Samantha isn't a guy, my awareness and sensitivity toward gay issues has been heightened. Actually, Samantha wrote that last line. I don't even know what that means.
The great thing about Samantha is how she's helped me evolve from a drug addled, alcoholic skank to a washed up, drug addled, alcoholic lesbian. Sometimes I can barely comprehend the incredible progress I've made in my life. I mean, is there anything nobler than feigning lesbianism to gain publicity for my sagging career? I think not.
We went to the protest at the Mormon temple the other day. How dare they participate in the democratic process! Who do they think they are, American citizens? But we know the people are on our side. They recognize that vapid celebrities with a vague understanding of politics and eighth-grade educations contribute far more to society than a bunch of religious people who I know absolutely nothing about other than what I read on signs at the protest. Did you know that Mormons have horns? I thought only Jews did. You learn something new every day, I guess. God, I wish these religious nutjobs would read the Constitution once in a while. It talks all about separation of like church and state and stuff, right after the part about the right to privacy. Some people are so miseducated.
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