EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT

Isn't it sad the way your music collection gets softer as you hurtle ever so closer to merciful, blessed death? Maybe there's some correlation between the ability to get an erection and your musical tastes. As your wiener gets more flaccid, so does your music.

This is Bob...he listens to Journey.

I'm certainly not immune to this phenomenon. I get it up about as often as Scarlett Johansson says something profound. And over the years, some very estrogen-friendly music has crept into my playlist. Testosterone-fueled 21 year old Randall would not be pleased.

Being a whore is, like, so empowering and stuff.
Vote for Obama. He's totally black!

On the other hand, I still have all my old, abrasive music, which creates an odd combination. I'm concerned that listening to Ace of Spades followed by Sister Golden Hair will create a tumor in my brain.

So what are we to do? Must a choice be made between loud/angry and soft/sissy music? Am I going to get cancer? Will your penis ever work again? How do we put the wang back in Wang Chung? Wait, what?

"No on Prop 8. Just saying."