IT'S A C-O-N...SPIRACY

Am I just imagining things or is half the country obsessed with ridiculous conspiracy theories? I know the public education system has been churning out retards for a couple generations now (thanks hippies!), but I'm still a little surprised by it all. We'll give black people a pass on this one, since the government really did carry out a conspiracy against them called slavery for a few years back in the day. If that happened to your people, you'd probably believe the CIA introduced crack into the inner city, too. I mean, you're still a retard if you believe that, but we'll give you a pass anyway. You're welcome.

"George Bush doesn't care about my record...in stores now!"

At the risk of offending half my friends (half of zero is still zero, so oh well), the most gullible people on earth are 9/11 conspiracy geeks. You've seen their videos on YouTube. Well, maybe you do productive things with your life and haven't seen them. I, on the other hand, have seen them in all their gloriously uninformed stupidity. Apparently, 9/11 was an inside job, according to my neighbor's bumper sticker. I also learned that hate is not a family value, skateboarding is not a crime (even though we all know it is), and contrary to the popular belief that no, we can't...yes, we can.

Thanks for the info.

What these people refuse to accept is that their obsession with conspiracies has nothing to do with 9/11, crack, the AIDS virus, OJ, Janet Reno, etc. It has to do with them being meaningless specks in a universe they have no control over. It's easier to live with yourself when you believe you're fighting some kind of noble fight against the forces of evil. You got rid of God when you turned 18 to get back at Mom for making you go to church every Sunday. You had to replace it with something. What I'm trying to say is, it's all about you, hippy! Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I'm as big a loser as you idiots. We all are. The only difference is, I've accepted it. When will you? Have a nice day : )