WHO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO? I'M FABULOUS!

Why does every guy on those CSI shows look like a fashionable homosexual? The safest place on earth has got to be Studio 54. Who would dare commit a murder there?

"Man, I just wanna dance!"

Poor Gary Sinise. He looks like a man who knows he's got another 20 minutes to wait before that bowel movement comes out. The most wooden actor in Hollywood somehow got stuck on a show with preening runway model scientists/cops/expert interrogators.

"Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto."

Let's not even get started with David Caruso. Sunglasses don't disguise the fact that you're 90 years old. You suck, David Caruso. Your acting is so hammy, you could play Batman.

Can you tell who's who?

And thanks for ruining not one, but three great Who songs. Now when I hear them, I have to think of those crappy shows instead of whether Pete Townshend is a child molester. Yeahhhhhhhh!