WANNA PARTY?

I was watching the World Series the other night and something occurred to me--baseball is boring. I know this isn't news to a lot of you, but there was a time when I actually enjoyed watching grown men adjusting their jocks, spitting, scratching themselves, and halfheartedly jogging 90 feet after a slow roller back to the mound. Yeah, I don't know either. Good thing I was entertaining a couple of midget hookers and a mountain of cocaine or my night would've been wasted on America's pastime. Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

She's half midget, half zebra, and all wildcat.